By Etta Magdalene (they/them)
Content note for brief mention of physical, sexual and emotional abuse with no details. Sources of support and advice at the end.
Sex work is both my kink and my superpower. I know the dangers, risks and the justifiable concerns around violence, coercion and sex trafficking, so I don’t want to glorify it, but escorting has helped me survive financially and reclaim ownership and autonomy over my body. It’s taken decades of fitness, eating disorder management, therapy, self-compassion and spiritual growth to achieve a body I love and to love my body. Although now I have aging and degenerative health conditions! So, my body work, by which I mean both working on getting a fitter, healthier, stronger body as well as using the body to earn a living, is a lifelong physical, mental and spiritual practice. I can’t separate myself out into a body versus a mind; we know they are interconnected, and body care is part of my self-care, self-compassion and spiritual practices. Sex work is not just about commodifying my body; I think about the ethics, and have care and compassion for clients, even when I am sometimes grossed out, or horrified by what they say and think. I want to give a voice to sex work, but these are my personal experiences; a snap shot of my current reflections on the complex highs and lows, and how it makes me feel about my body.
For anyone unfamiliar, an independent escort like me works for themselves, and offers anything from phone chat, cam work or dinner dates to full sexual services. I specialise in the full ‘girlfriend experience’ (GFE) where I treat the client like I’m really into them, listen, and get as intimate or sexual as they want. Why do it? Like many sex workers, I have limited employment options, and I struggle in offices and the 9-5 because of disability: neurodivergence and other energy-limiting health conditions. Sex work is hard physical and emotional work, but it can also be a lot of fun and a real buzz. I love sex with all genders so don’t judge me, for my current fetish for sleeping with straight (ish) cis men for money.
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