"Nobody Asked Us"

The increasingly polarised debate about trans kids in schools rarely resembles the reality of those young people. It also rarely includes them. Headlines are frequently simplified, often with an agenda behind them. Many of the claims made go unchecked. You could easily conclude that this is a manufactured 'controversy' that serves a wider culture war. Meanwhile, the families navigating that febrile atmosphere, trying to keep their kids safe, confident and in education, are almost never the ones asked what's actually helped.

We spoke to S, a young trans person, and their parent F, about what gender-affirming support in Brighton & Hove schools has meant in practice: the progress, the gaps, and what they wish the people arguing about them from a distance understood.

What difference did being recognised and affirmed as who you are make to your school experience ; friendships, confidence, mental wellbeing?

S: It made me feel seen, improving my sense of identity and self-confidence, which had a knock-on effect on my studies, as I felt more comfortable within the school environment. I had previously experienced bullying, but as I became more confident and my mental health improved, I built up a solid network of friends who accepted me for me.

As a parent, what did affirming support from teachers and school staff actually mean for your family day to day?

F: It was a long process for my eldest to explore and feel comfortable in their gender identity. There was a lot of resistance from their wider family, and they had struggled to feel comfortable in their own skin. Feeling validated and seen by school staff, therefore, was vital in feeling affirmed that this is who they were.