INTERVIEW: Adam Imber and Ali Najjar on two faiths, one love story and a happy ending
"Creating a ceremony that honoured both of our cultures meant everything to us. It was important that the day reflected who we are rather than following a traditional template."
In a world that sometimes still feels deeply divided by religion, culture and identity, some love stories refuse to fit the narrative. This is one of them! Meet Adam Imber, 36, a Jewish gay man, and Ali Najjar, 45, a Muslim gay man. On paper their relationship sits at the intersection of identities often portrayed as incompatible but it's proof that love doesnât care about lines drawn by tradition, politics or expectation.
Their story unfolds against a backdrop of growing LGBTQ+ acceptance but donât be fooled huns, the journey wasnât easy. Both Adam and Ali had to navigate the complicated, sometimes painful overlap of faith, sexuality and heritage. In todayâs climate where difference is so often weaponised, their relationship feels quietly radical. Because yesss it might sound cheesy but love is love and during Pride Month that truth hits even harder.
Adamâs upbringing was traditional rather than strictly religious but his connection to Judaism ran deep. He attended a Jewish school, leaned into his faith and by his own admission was âmore religiousâ than his parents growing up. So when he realised he was gay at just 11 and being gay wasnât accepted at school, that tension followed him for years. At 17 though, Adam came out. His mumâs initial reaction was fear, questions, worries and concern about how their community might respond but change came from within the family. His aunt, who had already defied tradition by marrying outside the faith, helped shift that perspective. His dad and sisters? Solid. Unshakeable support. It wasnât until university though and meeting other queer Jewish students that Adam truly began to feel comfortable in his identity.
Aliâs story takes a different turn. Raised in a liberal Muslim household, faith was present but never forced. There were traditions but also space. Space to question, to grow and ultimately, to be himself. Fast forward to May 2022 in Central Park, New York. Adam proposes. Then in August 2023, Braxted Park in Essex. 160 guests. Two cultures, two families and one massive celebration of love. I sat down with Adam and Ali for a yap that was deep, honest and sometimes funny too so letâs dive in....head first!
DALEYPOP: Hi boys, how are you both and how's your day going?! Oh and how was Barbados?
ALI: We are fabulous thank you! We have just celebrated our ninth year together and have been looking through old photos taking a trip down memory lane when we first met. I looked so different, I think I mature like cheese! Barbados was just amazing! Itâs definitely become one of our happy places. Itâs our third time to the tropical island and each time we have been it just gets better and better!
ADAM: The food, the people, the music, the slower paste of life which we love to experience as our schedules in the UK are just crazy! Itâs the magical island that everyone must visit at least once. As tourists we do feel incredibly safe as a same sex couple, however we do recognise that the experience that the LGBTQ basins vane be more challenging.
DALEYPOP: I'm adding Barbados to my bucket list right....NOW! Growing up in large Jewish and Muslim families, how old were you when you first become aware that you were gay nd how did that shape your sense of identity?
ALI: Between us, we come from very big families with parents, step parents, 18 aunts and uncles, around 40 first cousins and five sisters. We never needed to watch The Kardashians or Jerry Springer because our sisters brought all the drama, entertainment and chaos we could ever need. The biggest source of entertainment has always been the children, with ten nieces and nephews between them, Christmas, Eid, and Hanukkah are always loud, loving, and very expensive! Our childhoods were hectic but full of love and laughter. We both share memories of busy households, close relationships with our grandparents and that quiet feeling inside that told us we were somehow different from everyone else. Adamâs upbringing was traditional but progressive rather than deeply religious, although attending a Jewish school gave him a strong connection to his faith.
In many ways, due to his schooling Adam was actually more religious than his parents growing up. He first realised at around 11 or 12 that something waso different, however not knowing much about being gay he couldnât put a label on it. At around 14 he realised the word for this different was gay but told himself it was just a phase. At around 16 Adam realised this feeling wasnât going anywhere so he struggled deeply with both his sexuality and his faith.
At school, homosexuality was not spoken about and the expectation was that people would marry someone Jewish of the opposite sex and have a large family.
In 2007 at the age of 17, Adam came out to his parents and sisters. His mum was upset and worried asking many questions and fearing how the close knit local community would react. It was Adamâs aunt who helped reassure her, as she herself had broken tradition by marrying a Catholic man despite expectations that Jewish people should marry within their faith. Adamâs dad and sisters were supportive from the beginning and always stood by him. Despite this Adam had challenges in accepting himself and felt he had to choose between religion and sexuality, however he found a group of other queer Jewish people who helped him finally begin to accept and embrace both his sexuality and religion. My family on the other hand, were very liberal. Although I grew up in a Muslim household where certain traditions were practiced, religion was never strictly imposed on me. I realised I was gay from a very young age, around six years old.
Even as a child I knew I was different. At school when the boys chased the girls in the playground, I was always on the girls team being chased by the boys! Playing with cousins was another reminder. They never understood why I wanted to play with the pink convertible car with Barbie and Ken inside it and I never understood why they preferred the horrible brown car with no handsome blonde man sitting in it. I was fascinated by my mumâs glamour. Her huge 80s curly hair, shoulder pads and high heels. Looking back, I now realise that glam and glitz would always become a huge part of my personality and life.
Growing up gay without support or education was incredibly difficult. At school, nobody spoke about being gay and because I came from a Muslim background, there was an overwhelming fear that I could never come out to my family.
I remember hearing conversations where people openly said that being gay was wrong and forbidden.
The HIV/AIDS adverts on television terrified me.
As a child, I genuinely believed that every gay person was born with AIDS and as I got older I feared I was going to die simply because I was gay.
DALEYPOP: Oh wow it sounds like both of had very emotional and complicated coming out experiences then. Looking back now, what moments stand out as turning points in your families acceptance?
ALI: Mine would definitely be our wedding day. My mum turning up and being so proud of me. Mum really struggled with me being gay. It was more to do with what would the community say. The gossip.
Adam was the first boyfriend I ever brought home and I just knew he was the one.
Before him, I had spent years living two separate lives. Time after time relationships broke down because they were never part of my full circle. It was exhausting constantly lying, ducking and diving whenever I went out or did something my family couldnât know about. When I met Adam I knew things had to be different. I made the decision to make our relationship public and face whatever consequences came with that. Mum was not happy and incredibly unsupportive. In fact we didnât speak for a very long time and it really affected my mental health. I was angry and heartbroken that my mum, the person I loved most and had always been so close to seemed embarrassed and ashamed of her own son. Talking openly with family and friends helped me through it. Adam and his family were amazing and I was honest with everyone. I kept saying, âItâs not you sheâs angry with, itâs me.â Over time, I also learned that some things simply take longer to heal. Every milestone for Adam and me seemed to be another huge hurdle for mum. We started dating, moved in together, bought a house and then got married. Then, in December 2018 everything finally began to change. Mum invited Adam and me to her house for Christmas Eve. We were so excited, I could hardly believe it was finally happening. But my sisterâs timing couldnât have been more dramatic: she went into labour and gave birth on Christmas Eve instead! We did eventually all come together and from that point on we stopped looking back and only looked forward. Sadly, my dad passed away in 2011.
ADAM: I had instant acceptance from my sisters and my mum very quickly accepted that I was still Adam and her little boy and nothing changed. We were all very nervous about telling my dad as he was more traditional in his thinking, however straight away he took a very protective and accepting stance. A year or two later I heard a clip of him calling in to LBC where they having a debate about same sex marriage and it made me so emotional and accepting to hear him call in and say in a public space I have a gay son and express his support for equality for the community.
Our wedding day standing at the front and looking at all our family and friends there and seeing the joy on peoples faces was a moment neither of us thought we would see.
That was very special.
DALEYPOP: Adam, you once felt that you had to choose between being Jewish and being gay and Ali you faced fear around being a gay Muslim. How do you both reconcile faith and sexuality today?
ADAM: Outside of the ultra Orthodox community and some of the traditional institutions, the Jewish community in the UK is generally very progressive and accepting of the LGBTQIA community. Because of that I now feel that there isnât a choice to be made. In this day and age there are so many different ways to be Jewish, some people follow the rules in every detail, others choose some parts and not others, neither make you any less Jewish. I am not traditionally religious but religion is extremely important to me and my identity, we celebrate festivals with my family and I fast on our holiest day but I donât attend synagogue. I would like to but the local ones in our area are very traditional so cue lots of questions from a Rabbi. Are you married? Do you have kids? Do you want me to arrange a nice girl to meet? I am very proud of who I am and hold on to some of the traditions that have been passed on for thousands of years. I do pray and am spiritual but I have found my own way to do this outside of the formal religious institutions. At our wedding we had a liberal Rabbi (a woman Rabbi who did my Bar Mitzvah 20+ years before) conduct a blessing ceremony and we had Jewish wedding customs like standing under a Chuppah, smashing the glass and our own interpretation of a marriage contract (Ketubah). I also wore a Tallis (prayer shawl) and Kippah (head covering) which was important to me. Whilst I wasnât having a Jewish wedding, my faith and traditions were still a part of my wedding day. For Ali it was also important that his faith and background were a part of the day as well and we had Turkish blessings read by his sisters, as well as being welcomed into the dinner by traditional Turkish drummers who really got the party started!
ALI: Iâm not a practising Muslim and I never really have been. I think a lot of the stress came from worrying about what people would say. From a young age I knew being gay was not accepted within the Muslim faith but that didnât stop me from being myself. It just meant I lived a separate life away from my family which is really sad to think about now. I had a secret past where I built some amazing moments and memories with friends who Iâm still incredibly close to today.
My queer community is my second family. At the same time, that didnât stop me from going to Mosque or praying to God every day.
I believe there is one God, and that people are ultimately praying to the same God, whatever their faith or reason for praying may be. My dad always knew I was gay even though I never formally came out to him. Sadly he passed away when I was 30 and I never brought a girlfriend home. We had a fantastic relationship and I miss him every single day. I often wonder how this chapter of my life would have unfolded if my dad were still alive but I know he loved his children no matter what. Sometimes I play out a version in my head where heâs still here, popping over to see me and Adam with my mum and that thought brings me comfort.
DALEYPOP: Ali, youâve spoken about bullying, workplace assault and navigating life without support. I'm so sorry to hear that, that's awful. How have those experiences influenced the man you are now?
ALI: Thanks Dale. From a young age I always knew I was different. That feeling was reinforced every single day throughout my childhood and into adulthood. The verbal and physical attacks I experienced still haunt me to this day. It makes me incredibly sad that as a child, I was treated so badly simply for being different. I was punched, kicked and spat at. There were weeks when I stopped going to school altogether because I was terrified of what might happen to me. The school knew exactly what was happening yet nothing was done to protect me. I couldnât even go home and tell my parents because I was hiding a life changing secret about who I was. It was such a dark and isolating period in my life that even now I sometimes feel the need to block parts of it out. Those experiences still live within me today. My education suffered greatly as a result and later in life I had to re-educate myself because so much had been taken away from me at such a young age. But I refused to let those experiences define me. I bounced back and threw myself into working with charities, schools and LGBTQIA+ organisations because I never want another young Ali to go through what I did. Later in life I was sexually assaulted at work by another man. When it came to light, once again, nothing was done. Looking back now I feel angry and deeply hurt that I had nobody to turn to for support. At that time I still wasnât out to anyone so I had to carry that pain alone as well. I did turn to Switchboard for support and I can honestly say that was a gamechanger for me.
DALEYPOP: From swiping right in 2017 to moving in together within months, what made your connection feel so immediate and undeniable?
ALI: The connection between Adam and me was electric from the start. The food, the culture and the strong sense of family only brought us closer together. We had so much in common and we made each other laugh and smile every single day.
With Adam, I felt safe. For the first time in my life, I could truly be myself.
I didnât have to hide or lie about who I was with or make excuses about my family.
I was honest from day one and that honesty set the tone for everything that followed. I had never openly lived with a boyfriend before so it was incredibly exciting to finally reach a point in my life where I could. We moved into Adamâs flat in Romford and it was perfect for us. It was such a cosy little flat and together we made it our home until we bought our house together in 2019.
DALEYPOP: Your wedding beautifully combined Turkish, Arabic and Jewish traditions which I LOVE! What did it mean to you both to create a ceremony that honoured both cultures on your own terms and was it hard trying to combine them or was it easier than expected?
ADAM: Our fairytale and truly unique inclusive ceremony was led by Rabbi Rebecca who beautifully honoured both of our cultures throughout. The ceremony included Turkish readings and Hebrew blessings, spoken in both Turkish and Hebrew before being translated into English which made it feel deeply personal and meaningful for everyone there.
Ali did ask for an Imam to be present to jointly conduct the ceremony but unfortunately he refused. Hereâs hoping one day this will change.
A beautifully dressed Chuppah sanctified both families as they joined beneath it before lighting candles and saying blessings together. We also created our own marriage contract, taking elements from the Ketubah alongside Turkish blessings that reflected our shared values and the life we wanted to build together. After the ceremony, we gathered with family and friends holding rainbow coloured smoke bombs, with us leading at the front, creating the most beautiful photographs celebrating both love and pride.
@husbands_ali_adam Two stories. Two cultures. Two hearts. One extraordinary love đłď¸âđ #muslim #jewish #husbands #lgbtqđ #interfaith ⏠original sound - Husbands_ali_adam
We then entered the wedding breakfast pavilion to the thunderous, electrifying rhythm of Turkish drums which immediately had guests on their feet dancing to celebratory Turkish and Arabic music. Later in the evening, we were lifted onto chairs during the Horah, bringing an incredible energy into the room that we know everyone will remember for years to come. The Turkish drummers then returned and completely brought the house down once again.
Creating a ceremony that honoured both of our cultures meant everything to us. It was important that the day reflected who we are rather than following a traditional template.
Of course there were moments where combining traditions felt challenging, especially when there isnât really a guidebook for interfaith and intercultural weddings like ours, but overall it was far easier and more natural than people might think. We realised thereâs no textbook, you simply create a celebration that feels authentic to you both.
Our wedding was everything and more than we ever dreamed possible, especially as there was a time we never thought a day like this could happen for us in our lifetime. Two religions and cultures can absolutely work beautifully together.
DALEYPOP: Have you had many messages from LGBTQ+ Muslims and Jews who see themselves in your story? I assume you must have?! What has been the most meaningful response so far?
ALI: We receive messages every day from people within the Jewish and Muslim queer communities, as well as from many others outside those communities too. The messages we receive are incredibly meaningful and it has been such an honour to support people who are navigating experiences similar to those we once faced ourselves. Weâve listened to and connected with so many individuals and every story is unique. Each message carries its own meaning and purpose and we never take that for granted. Of course we have also received hate mail, death threats and seen countless TikTok videos made about us. But we simply block, delete and move on. We genuinely do not care for negativity or hateful energy. We are happy, positive people and we choose to surround ourselves only with love, good vibes and authenticity.
DALEYPOP: Youâve been featured in major LGBTQ+ platforms like Attitude, Pink News, Gaydio, Daily Star, Pride in London, Rock My Wedding and now Scene yay! What motivated you to share your story so publicly and how has that visibility changed your lives? Have either of you thought or said to each other âWe've shared too much. Should we have stayed private?â
ALI: The only way to break barriers and support one another is by sharing our journeys and experiences. We know we are not the only gay Muslims or Jews. There are so many other queer Muslims and Jews out there who need to hear stories like ours. Stories that can offer hope, understanding and a sense of acceptance. Growing up, we didnât have that kind of representation to guide us. We had to navigate everything blindly and if weâd had that support or visibility, life could have felt a little less isolating and a little easier. Weâre obviously not A-listers but we do get recognised within the queer community from time to time and people are always incredibly kind and supportive of our journey.
We also want to acknowledge what is happening in the Middle East. We do not support the violence or suffering taking place.
Palestinian people are suffering and dying every day and we continue to show our support and join marches calling for an end to this. At the same time, the rise in both Islamophobia and antisemitism is deeply concerning.
People need to understand that blaming or attacking all Muslims or all Jews is not the answer.
Hatred towards entire communities only creates more division and pain.
DALEYPOP: I 100% agree. Do you have any advice for young LGBTQ+ people who feel they must choose between their culture, their religion and their sexuality?
ALI: Young LGBTQ+ Muslims and Jews are often told they must choose between faith, culture, family and sexuality. In reality, many people find ways to hold all of those parts of themselves together over time. We have certainly done that. Feeling conflicted does not mean you are broken or dishonest.
Islam and Judaism are not single, unanimous voices; there are LGBTQ+ Muslims, Jews, scholars, rabbis, and imams who believe faith and queerness can coexist.
ADAM: You do not have to rush into defining your identity, coming out or deciding your relationship to religion. If openness would threaten your safety, housing or wellbeing, it is okay to move carefully. Finding community matters. Even one affirming person can make a huge difference.
DALEYPOP: I know you're both keen to speak at more events and even march at Brighton Pride, right? Have you contacted Brighton Pride and whatâs next for you both as advocates for interfaith LGBTQ+ love?
ALI: This year weâve been approached by so many Pride events and things are really ramping up for us. Weâve already filmed several podcasts that are now available to watch and we have many more exciting projects in the pipeline including podcasts, articles, London Pride, Manchester Pride and Cambridge Pride. Maybe Brighton Pride next? Weâre also incredibly proud to announce that we are now ambassadors for Rainbow Minds, a charity that is very close to our hearts.
Mental health is real, mental health matters and weâre honoured to be part of their journey and support them in any way we can.
Recently, Adam was diagnosed with ADHD. For years we joked about certain behaviours. His forgetfulness, how fidgety he was and how he could never sit through a TV show without getting up a thousand times, never realising there was an underlying reason for it all.
There was also another side to it. Adam struggled with feeling low, depressed, and dealing with major anxiety. His mind often felt like a constant washing machine endlessly spinning and for years he battled with it. Sometimes silently, sometimes openly with me. During those moments I would step in to support him, comfort him, rethink our plans and help minimise situations when everything simply felt too overwhelming. Adam has now been on ADHD medication for two months and the difference has honestly been incredible. Heâs spoken openly about his journey and weâd encourage anyone to watch his videos and hear his story. Heâs more focused, happier, more present and able to concentrate. A new version of Adam, while still keeping the same habits and personality we love! Weâre also currently working with several more organisations to become ambassadors and we couldnât be happier about whatâs ahead.
We are passionate advocates for our queer community and weâll continue using our platform, our voices, and our visibility to show up, speak out, and stand in solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community.
DALEYPOP: Ali, now that youâve lived the Essex dream and the North London life, which one wins for drama, glam and good gossip?
ALI: Wouldnât change The Only Way Is Essex for nothing babes!
DALEYPOP: I knew you'd mention TOWIE! Adam, I know youâve both been on loads of holidays and travelled a lot together, whatâs the funniest or most chaotic thing thatâs happened on holiday that you can actually admit publicly?
ADAM: I think the most chaotic moment and one where Ali may have been close to killing me off was in Athens. We were there for a friends wedding which was about 45 minutes out of the city so they laid on coaches at 12am, 1am and 3am we decided as we had an early flight the next day to be sensible and take the 1am. Feeling proud of ourselves for dragging ourselves away from the party we returned to our hotel at 2am to get some sleep. It was a small hotel so on arrival we found that the doors were locked at night and you needed a key card to enter, cue Adam who put the key card in has wallet finding himself with no key! We frantically searched for it but no luck, there was no reception and the doors were of course locked so called the emergency number on repeat, many many times, no answer. At this point it was 3am in Athens city centre and we camped outside a hotel with lots of sketchy characters around. At the time it was scary rather than funny. We walked down the road to the bigger, posher hotel some guests were staying at to see if they can help and whilst very helpful, they sadly had no rooms. I even asked if we could sleep on a sunbed. To top if off they told us Greek law means we would need ID and a physical credit card to get a room anyway which we didn't have on us (the digital age of having everything on your phone isnât always great)! They had an idea to help and called a "by the hour hotel" who were able to help. A 5 minute walk took us to the sketchiest of hotels going. It was like a 1970s motel complete with old fashioned TV and a man on reception smoking. Thankful to have a bed for a few hours we took the room, which itself was like something from a horror movie. Chairs were stacked against the door for safety and I had to sleep in contact lenses which fell out in the night. 7am next morning Ali was guiding me to our hotel to get showered and get ourselves together for our flight. It was a chaotic, scary and stressful night but looking back we will always remember it and have to laugh!
DALEYPOP: Oh my god that sounds like the plot of a comedy horror film! By the way I can't get over that you both have ten nieces and nephews, that's wild. I've only got one (hey Annelise). Do you keep a spreadsheet for birthdays and holidays?!
ALI: We wish we were this organised! What usually happens with the littler ones is we get excited by seeing cute things and order them as we go which are then hidden away in a cupboard so come present wrapping time we forget what we bought and they end up with double presents! They're gradually all moving to teenager ages now so the ask is either an iPad or a phone which we will leave to the parents or cold hard cash for driving lessons!
DALEYPOP: Last question, if Hollywood made a film about your love story, which actors would play each of you and who would insist on approving the casting?
ALI: Now that is a tricky one! We would both need to be in the audition room, thatâs a given! The choices are endless, I think we should put this out to the readers....
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