“I wore a mask 24/7”: Openly gay top-flight footballer Joshua Cavallo opens up

Professional footballer Joshua Cavallo, the only openly gay male footballer playing in a top-flight league, has spoken candidly about the years he spent “living behind a mask”, the fear of losing his career, and the personal cost of being one of the sport’s most visible LGBTQ+ figures.

Appearing on the new episode of We Need To Talk - the podcast hosted by Paul C Brunson - Cavallo reflects on the secret double life he lived through his teens, the isolation that defined those years, his journey to love, and the ongoing challenges facing LGBTQ+ athletes in football.

“I wore a mask 24/7”

Cavallo describes his teenage years as defined by duality: the public persona of a promising young athlete and the private self he felt unable to show.

He recalls forcing himself into almost-romantic closeness with a female friend, Sarah, desperate to silence the truth he already sensed. “At school, boys caught my eye, and I thought, ‘That can’t be allowed.’ I had to think one way and one way only,” he says. By 16, he was grappling with the strain of acting straight in dressing rooms and social circles. “I literally had a mask on. I had to paint a picture for people.”

The pretence extended into his home life. “There’s no switching off… you don’t actually get to be Josh,” he says. Fear, he explains, was constant: fear of disappointing his family, fear of losing football, and fear of becoming “the next Justin Fashanu”, recalling the tragic fate of Britain’s first openly gay professional footballer.

Dating in secret - and meeting his fiancé

Cavallo admits he came out to strangers on dating apps long before confiding in loved ones. Too frightened to reveal his face, he reached out anonymously to the man who later became his fiancé, Leighton - only to be blocked when Leighton assumed he was a catfish.

“It was an ego hit,” Cavallo laughs, recalling how he eventually sent proof of who he was. Years later, when Cavallo’s coming-out video made global headlines, Leighton messaged to apologise - a moment Cavallo calls “bittersweet and crazy”.

The letter he planned to leave behind

Despite the strain of secrecy, Cavallo couldn’t bring himself to speak openly to a therapist, convinced someone would expose him. At 20, after winning a young player award, he returned home to Melbourne for six weeks and resolved to tell his family. But the anxiety was overwhelming.

He wrote a coming-out letter and planned to hide it under the sofa before driving eight hours back to Adelaide. “I thought they’d never accept me,” he says. He now describes missing the chance to tell them face-to-face as one of his deepest regrets: “They were upset that I’d lived like that until 21 and never felt safe enough to tell them.”

From fear of losing his career to becoming an advocate

When Cavallo eventually told his coaches, he believed he might be ending his football career. Instead, he was met with support - and, soon after, explosive global attention. His coming-out video generated half a million messages in half an hour.

“It felt like a movie,” he says. “People were saying how brave it was and asking how this could still be an issue in 2021.” The response pushed him into an unplanned advocacy role. “People were using me as their lifeline… that’s when I knew I had a responsibility.”

Today, he mentors closeted athletes across multiple sports, many of whom still feel unable to come out publicly.

“It’s getting worse” - on homophobia in modern football

Cavallo and Brunson discuss the stark statistics: only six openly gay professional male footballers worldwide, and none in the Premier League. Cavallo believes the environment is becoming more hostile, not less.

“It’s sad people hide themselves just because they’re professional athletes,” he says. Pointing to rising anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment in parts of the world, he warns: “People are encouraged to send hate.”

A frightening attack

Cavallo also reveals he has been physically targeted. He describes being confronted at a petrol station by a man shouting homophobic abuse and threatening violence. “It was the first time I thought my life was in danger,” he says. The incident made his family fear for his safety - and briefly made him question whether coming out had been the right decision. But after support from his inner circle, he refused to be silenced: “If you have an issue with me, that’s your problem.”

Love, proposals and thoughts on starting a family

Cavallo proposed to Leighton on the football pitch of the club where he first felt truly safe - a symbolic gesture marking how far he had come. “I never thought I’d be on a pitch kissing my fiancé,” he says.

Looking ahead, the couple hope to have two children one day, though Cavallo stresses he’s in no rush. “I’m still in my 20s and want to experience life. Maybe in my 30s. For now, our dog is our child,” he jokes.

A message to the queer community

Cavallo ends the podcast with a call for visibility from role models in all professions, and a simple message to LGBTQ+ people everywhere:

“Be unapologetically yourself. Don’t apologise for how you look or act. Don’t let worrying what others think make you neglect who you are.”