Bisexual Awareness Week: "I am bisexual, I am proud."

For years, Manchester-based entrepreneur and mum-of-one Nicky Wake, 53, felt her bisexual identity was being quietly erased. Not because she hid it, but because life placed her in a long-term heterosexual marriage that overlooked a fundamental part of who she was. Now, five years after the tragic death of her husband, Andy, Nicky is stepping into her truth with courage and pride, determined to break down misconceptions and bring greater awareness to bisexuality. 

“People often assume your sexuality is defined by the gender of the person you marry. I loved Andy deeply, but just because he was a man doesn’t mean I stopped being bisexual. My sexuality didn’t disappear when I put on a wedding ring.” 

Nicky’s understanding of her identity stretches back to her teens, “I remember being a teenager and reading Seventeen magazine. There was an advert with a beautiful woman promoting baby oil, and something just clicked. I knew I found women attractive. Later, immersed in the London club scene, I first slept with a woman while dating my first proper boyfriend, who was bisexual and open to me exploring my sexuality. I realised this was a part of me I couldn’t ignore.” 

Soon, Nicky fell in love with a woman and, for a time, identified as a lesbian, “Those years were liberating. Over one summer, I fell head over heels in love, but that relationship ended in heartbreak. After that, I moved back to Manchester. I became a naked podium dancer at the Hacienda, where sexuality was fluid and labels didn’t matter. Later, I worked as promotions manager, organising events where straight girls would kiss and running gay raves. Sexuality was very fluid, I fell for the person and the spark between us, not the gender.” 

Everything shifted for Nicky when she met Andy, “I wasn’t looking for him, and yet there he was. We were married for 16 years, and our marriage brought me the greatest joy. Loving Andy never cancelled out my bisexuality. My great love just happened to be a man. Andy was my rock, he centred me and never questioned my identity. We had a strong marriage built on trust, and he supported me without judgement.” 

Andy’s death in 2020 followed a series of serious health challenges. In 2017, he suffered a major heart attack, and over the next three years battled complications that eventually took his life. His passing devastated Nicky and their son, Finn, and for a long time, she felt that moving on would be a betrayal. But six months later, when she took that step, it felt healing. 

“Sleeping with a woman first after Andy died felt comforting. It helped me realise my identity hadn’t gone away, it was still part of me. For some reason it also made me feel less guilty than if I’d slept with a man first.” 

I want to shine a light on bisexual people, who make up the largest portion of the UK LGBTQ+ community but are often the least recognised.

Now, rebuilding her life in her 50s, Nicky is determined to be visible, “I’m proudly bisexual, and I love dating both men and women. Society put me in a neat box of being a straight wife and a straight mum. But I never fitted that box. Sexuality is a spectrum, and bisexual people are real, valid and worthy of pride. I want women in midlife to see me and think it’s okay to be bisexual and married, widowed or in your 50s. There’s no expiry date on living authentically.” 

Nicky is now speaking out ahead of Bisexual Awareness Week, which takes place 16 - 23 September, culminating in Celebrate Bisexuality Day on 23 September. “I want to shine a light on bisexual people, who make up the largest portion of the UK LGBTQ+ community but are often the least recognised. That lack of visibility can feed shame and isolation. I don’t want my bisexuality to be invisible anymore, I want to be counted.” 

For Nicky, open conversation and positive role models are key, “Attraction doesn’t always follow neat lines. The more we talk about that, the more we dismantle stigma. Bisexuality isn’t something you grow out of or hide, it’s something to embrace and celebrate. I’ve always been completely open about my sexuality. I’ve seen more people identifying as bisexual now than ever before, and it feels empowering.” 

Since losing her husband, Nicky has gone on to launch a series of apps to help others find love and intimacy after bereavement. Chapter2, the UK’s first dating app for widows and widowers, supports people seeking love and companionship after loss. Meanwhile WidowsFire offers a safe space for widows exploring lust, passion and sexuality without judgement. 

She has also created SoberLove.app for people looking to date while sober, and most recently has just agreed a close business relationship with Gaydar Girls, one of the UK’s most iconic platforms for queer women. 

“These platforms honour the past while embracing the future. Love, lust, romance and sexuality don’t end because of life events like bereavement and sobriety. You’re still alive, and you’re allowed to want connection. That’s what Chapter2, WidowsFire, SoberLove and Gaydar Girls are all about, creating spaces where people can find love, intimacy and belonging in ways that feel authentic to them. With these platforms, I want to build a family of communities that honour identity, empower connection, and create safe, authentic spaces for love and lust in all their forms.” 

For Nicky, embracing and being open about her bisexual identity is the natural next step, “This isn’t about who I date next. It’s about me saying without hesitation, that I am bisexual, I am proud, and I’m not going to be invisible anymore. Bisexual Awareness Week is the perfect moment to celebrate that, and to remind others that being bisexual is valid at every stage of life.” 

Find out more about Chapter2, WidowsFire, SoberLove and Gaydar Girls by visiting www.chapter2dating.app, www.widowsfire.dating, www.soberlove.app and www.gaydargirls.com