Dame Kelly Holmes: “Now I’m wearing every colour under the rainbow.”

Dame Kelly Holmes has shared how living openly as a gay woman has transformed her life, describing it as “a whole new world” compared to her earlier years in the military.

The double Olympic gold medallist, who grew up in Pembury, Kent, publicly came out three years ago after keeping her sexuality private for decades. Speaking on the first episode of BBC's The LGBT Sport Podcast, Dame Kelly reflected on the emotional toll of hiding her identity.

She explained that her secrecy began out of necessity due to the British Army’s former ban on homosexuality. Over time, this concealment became a way of life. “Covid became quite traumatic,” she said. “I was internalising those thoughts of ‘I don’t want to live my life like this.’”

“I needed to explain why I couldn’t come out because of the army.”

While battling the virus, she feared that if she died, her loved ones would remember her as someone who never felt free to be herself. That moment became a turning point. “One night, I had to reach out for help,” she recalled. “It started the process of thinking, ‘I’ve got to somehow allow myself to feel free enough to live my life authentically in the public eye.’”

Her journey toward self-acceptance was gradual. For the first time, she spoke to a psychologist—something she had long avoided for fear of being outed. Years of “second-guessing words” and “filtering conversations” began to give way to openness.

“I needed to explain why I couldn’t come out because of the army,” she said. “A lot of people didn’t know about the ban... nobody knew that was the underlying reason.”

Initially hesitant to engage with the LGBTQ+ community, Dame Kelly admitted she found Pride events overwhelming. But over time, she embraced them. “Now I’m wearing every colour under the rainbow,” she said, proudly taking the stage at Pride celebrations.