A Gloriously Guilty Pleasure: Cruel Intentions Brings '90s Heat to Theatre Royal

Last night's opening of Cruel Intentions at Theatre Royal was an experience—a jukebox musical that takes Pierre Choderlos de Laclos' 1782 novel Les Liaisons dangereuses (via the 1999 cult teen film Cruel Intentions) for a wild ride in the backseat, and, what a ride it was.

The plot, for what it's worth, revolves around incestuous step-siblings Sebastian Valmont and Kathryn Merteuil engaging in a cruel bet: Kathryn goads Sebastian into attempting to seduce Annette Hargrove, the headmaster's virtuous daughter. Weaving a web of secrets and temptation, their crusade wreaks havoc on the students at their exclusive Manhattan high school, until the duo become entangled in their own web of deception and unexpected romance, with explosive results.

But honestly, who cares about things like plot and continuity when there's such vibrant vocal talent on display? This was the thinnest of plots, with material shoehorned with impressive ferocity to fit the cult premise of the film—but the young cast were absolutely amazing, working incredibly hard to gloss over these fundamental weaknesses with sheer theatrical magnetism.

My companion and I met eyes more than a few times as one song flowed "seamlessly" into the next. Who needs a line of dialogue when a cheesy musical segue will do? The whole cast sang and shone with remarkable consistency, delivering harmonics that were genuinely stunning—really warm and precise throughout. The duets pulled out glorious renditions of familiar '90s tracks, even if the lyrics were somewhat adjacent to the emotions the singers were supposedly feeling.

Gary Lloyd's choreography was undoubtedly a highlight of the evening, providing impressive stylish touches and clever references that elevated every number. The dancing was electric, with the cast throwing themselves into every routine with infectious energy that had the packed audience captivated.

Full cast and creative's here on the UK tour site.

The band worked incredibly hard to whip the music out, even in its truncated forms, and it was certainly very loud in the first few rows of the stalls—perhaps a blessing given some of the more questionable lyrical adaptations. Never have I seen so much glorious hard work from such a talented cast carry such a weak plot and excuse for characters.

From a queer perspective, there's something beautifully subversive about watching this particular song list reimagined for musical theatre. The '90s pop catalog, with its themes of desire, rebellion, and sexual awakening, finds new resonance when filtered through a story about forbidden attraction and societal transgression. While the source material trades in heteronormative power games, the musical's exuberant queering of familiar pop anthems creates unexpected moments of genuine connection.

There are some questionable clichéd and stereotypical characters on display—I cringed at the 'gay boy' character—but the packed audience loved them all, and he and his quarterback boyfriend received one of the loudest cheers of the night during curtain call. In 2025, we might hope for more nuanced representation, but there's something to be said for seeing queer joy celebrated so enthusiastically by a mainstream theatre audience.

The show certainly has its limitations, but these aren't found in the cast or their exceptional dancing and singing skills—rather in the musical premise and plot itself. Now that's not what I'd call a musical, but it's most certainly a terrifically performed and high-energy entertaining night out.

Cruel Intentions is a gloriously guilty pleasure that succeeds despite itself, carried entirely by the tremendous talent and commitment of its young performers. Sometimes that's more than enough.

Until Sat, Theatre Royal Brighton.