So, that was my first single summer for a while!

I am not sure about you, but at www.esmale.com we do not want the summer to end. We have had such a blast. I have been chilling with friends, enjoyed a holiday, various pride events and enjoyed plenty of action. I hardly left the house without my favourite poppers UK, this is always a good sign, at least for me. It has been my first single summer for a while, and I loved it, well, most of it. I must say that things have changed for single men on the scene. These are just my experiences; others might feel different.

Party-Play-Marry

During my first single summer for 10 years, I found that things had changed, not necessarily for the better or worse, just different, and it took some getting used to. I experienced three different types of scenes. 

Party

In the first few weeks, I found myself very much in the fun party scene. I went dancing in clubs, house parties, and the focus was very much on connecting, having fun and the occasional hook up. More than in my previous single days, the pre-dancing drinking happened at house gatherings and parties. Which, considering the price of a drink, I understand. Even though it is fun, I missed pre-drinks in a bar and eyeing up the talent. Especially if you move in similar circles a lot, the pre-drink is often with the same people, with some new blood scattered around here and there.

Another thing I noticed is that even though I call it pre-drinks, more young people actually don’t drink, or at least not to the level I was used to. I got inspired by this, and my liver has had its best summer ever. Conversation was also more open and deeper. Issues at work, discussing relationships or health issues mixed in with a bit of gossip or fun chats. This was refreshing, but on various occasions, it felt a bit heavy when all I wanted was light conversation and a giggle. Still, much fun was had.

Play 

I do like a bit of adult action and did not feel I was getting this at the start of summer. So, I unlocked Grindr, Recon and Squirt and threw myself into action with my favourite bottle of strong poppers, lube and my trusted penis ring. Again, I was surprised by how things have changed over the last 10 years. Everything seems to be more direct, and banter is minimal. In the beginning, I enjoyed it, you know what you are getting, and I often knew in advance what would happen, to some great detail. One guy showed pictures of his sex toys in advance so I could choose.

As I work for esmale.com, a gay sex shop , it made me giggle that he bought most of them in our store. After several hook-ups, it started to feel a bit soulless. As much as I love adult action, I like the chase as well or at least some excitement or trepidation. With that in mind, I tried some saunas and adult-themed parties, and to be honest, they did not really live up to my expectations. Again, I felt it was too quick and direct and less of the chase I love so much. The exception was Hunter Weekender and some Fetish Week events that I really enjoyed. We are now getting to the end of the summer, and my heart wanted a bit more, so I went on the lookout for romance.

Marry

Looking for romance or a boyfriend was hard. Apart from some dedicated no-hook-up apps for dating, I felt it was hard to meet people in real life and get to the stage where I would ask someone out or even better, get asked out. The dates I did go on carried the same theme as the Party and Play sections of this article. In that the guys were direct and very focused on compatibility and how a relationship would work.

Where the partiers only partied and the players only played, these guys went straight into almost marriage. Again, I missed the excitement of the chase and exploring each other. It felt a bit like I was on the clock and had to convince them that I could indeed be the one. I had a few great dates, but a real romance seems far away at this moment. The biggest romance I have is with myself and my collection of poppers and gay sex toys. At least they will never disappoint.

So, to conclude.

Overall, my summer was amazing. Even though much has changed, I have laughed, danced, made friends and enjoyed some great action. So much so that I don’t want autumn to start, even though it does mean that Halloween is around the corner, which I love! 

In the end, what I noticed the most is that, in my experience, things feel a bit more separated. You are either in a party, play or “marriage” scene. I feel that 10 years ago, this was all a bit more fluid. Then again, this was only my first summer as a new single gay man, and I have plenty to learn, I am sure. Things might very well be more nuanced; I have yet to find it, though.

Whilst exploring my new life as a single man, I realised how lucky I am to be working for esmale and have all these pleasure tools to try out. If this is something you like too, then have a look at the stores list below. 

For poppers, CLICK HERE

For amazing tools, CLICK HERE

I hope you had a great summer!

With love,

Oliver 

Team esmale