As a Black gay man living in the South East my journey as a survivor of domestic violence has been marked by silence, stigma, and struggle.
Breaking the Silence: A Black Gay Male Survivor’s Call for Inclusive Domestic Violence Support Services
As a Black gay man living in London then South East England, my journey as a survivor of domestic violence has been marked by silence, stigma, and struggle. Today, I am breaking that silence to shed light on the urgent need for support services that are inclusive and affirming, provided by LGBTQ+ groups and practitioners who understand the unique challenges faced by individuals like me.
My experience with domestic violence began in a relationship that I believed was built on love and mutual respect. However, as time passed, the relationship turned volatile, with emotional and physical abuse becoming a regular occurrence. As a black gay man, I grappled with the intersections of racism, homophobia, and toxic masculinity, which compounded my sense of vulnerability and shame.
When I finally mustered the courage to seek help, I turned to mainstream domestic violence services, hoping to find refuge and support. However, my hopes were quickly shattered as I encountered ignorance, prejudice, and a lack of cultural competence. Being met with skepticism, disbelief, and even hostility due to my race and sexual orientation only deepened my sense of isolation and despair.
It was through the support of LGBTQ+ organizations and practitioners that I found a lifeline amidst the darkness. From the moment I reached out, I was met with empathy, understanding, and validation of my identity and experiences. The LGBTQ+ support groups provided a safe space where I could share my story without fear of judgment, where my diverse ethnicity and sexual orientation were acknowledged and respected, and where I received the support and resources I needed to break free from the cycle of abuse.
For me, accessing inclusive support services was not just about escaping the violence; it was about reclaiming my power, my identity, and my right to live free from fear and oppression. The LGBTQ+ advocates and practitioners who stood by me understood the complexities of my intersectional identity, offering culturally competent assistance that addressed my unique needs and challenges.
My journey to healing has reinforced the importance of inclusive domestic violence support services provided by LGBTQ+ organizations and practitioners. It is not enough to acknowledge the existence of marginalized survivors; we must actively prioritize their safety, well-being, and dignity by ensuring that support services are accessible, affirming, and culturally competent.
In the Sussex, England and beyond, there is an urgent need for dedicated domestic violence services that center the experiences of marginalized communities, including black gay men. As a survivor, I urge policymakers, funders, and service providers to listen to the voices of marginalized survivors, to invest in inclusive support services, provided by the LGBTQ+ communities and from the LGBTQ+ communities they are for, and to create a world where everyone can live free from violence and discrimination.
