Confessions of a 90's kid crushes and gay awakening

For those of us queer millennials in our thirties, our sense of identity was shaped by the cultural chaos and charisma of the '90s—a decade of grunge, heroin chic, and the unforgettable pop rivalry of Britney vs. Christina (I was firmly Team Britney, though I secretly adored Christina too).

In 1994, I was six/seven years old growing up in a suburban Berkshire town. Saturday nights meant watching Gladiators—a dazzling mix of Greek god aesthetics, gym-honed physiques, and unapologetic spandex.

I didn’t have the words for it then but looking back, that was one of my earliest gay awakenings! I didn’t yet understand what it meant to be gay or even know the word. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I realised I wasn’t straight although I was 15 when I was 100% sure I was gay and I vividly remember the pop culture moments of the 90s and early noughties that shaped my identity—my tastes, crushes, dreams and desires.

So, in the spirit of nostalgia and self-discovery, here are 26 of my formative crushes!

1. Jean-Claude Van Damme - Watching Street Fighter in 1994 I didn’t care about the plot. I was too busy swooning over The Muscles from Brussels biceps and heroic bravado. While others saw Colonel Guile fighting for justice, I saw a walking thirst trap in camo pants, kicking his way into my confused little heart.

Fun fact: none other than Kylie Minogue graced the Street Fighter movie too, truly a camp classic with bonus glitter. I was obsessed with the game and now there are whispers of a new Street Fighter film in the works starring Orville Peck? My inner child and outer gay are both intrigued👀

2. Adam Rickitt - In the I Breathe Again video OMG from 1999. It was part pop anthem, part thirst trap!

I was only 10 and back in 2023 I was trying to think who my very first gay awakening was and thought it could be Adam but actually, it must be the Gladiators so I guess Adam was my second gay awakening. Sorry Adam but still a strong silver medal.🥈

3. Chris O'Donnell - In 1997's Batman & Robin-I don't even have words.

I mean, woah. The rubber suit, the brooding stare, the acrobatics….I didn’t know whether I wanted to be him or be rescued by him. The director (Joel Schumacher) knew what he was doing. This suit-up scene below has lived in my mind rent free for decades now, it's camp perfection but also a cornerstone of my formative confusion.

I’m emotionally invested in its well-being. It’s got a spare key, a drawer in my brain, and occasionally texts me at 2 a.m. just to remind me how tight that rubber suit really was. No regrets. Zero eviction notices.

4. Chris Klein - In American Pie in 1999.

I remember everyone being shocked by the whole “warm apple pie” situation but I was too distracted being in love with Oz, the sweet, sensitive and handsome jock.🥰

5. Ricky Martin - When Livin’ La Vida Loca exploded onto MTV in 1999, Ricky Martin wasn’t just shaking his hips or his bon-bon, he was shaking the very foundation of my young, closeted soul. It was chaotic, sexy, and confusing in all the right ways and I loved it. Omg and the candle wax scene?!

I just KNEW. I remember my mum swooning over him and I secretly was too and I was TEN YEARS OLD, that's honestly such a wild thought to me. Still such a banger of a song too btw!

6. Enrique Iglesias - Enrique had me in a chokehold with his 1999 Bailamos video and 1999 really was the year I realised my appreciation of latino men and 2025 is the year I just found out Bailamos means we dance in English.

Every day is a school day.

7. Ryan Phillippe - In 1999's Cruel Intentions....again I have no words.

8. O-Town - Liquid Dreams from 2000. I didn't know their names at the time (I was too busy pining to care I guess) and can't think of another song they released but Liquid Dreams (we'll discuss the song name in a sec don't worry) was everywhere at the time and so catchy and the main singer was so pretty.

They were all pretty but I was completely mesmerised by Ashley Parker Angel. Liquid Dreams was about wet dreams (I know, what?!) packed with cheeky innuendos and pop culture shout outs. They name dropped Destiny’s Child, Madonna, Janet Jackson, and a mysterious Jennifer with no last name. I was convinced it was J.Lo, but who knows? Just another one of those pop mysteries.

Speaking of boybands… let’s rewind to 1996!

9. Backstreet Boys - Quit Playing Games With My Heart video....

Omgomgomg and now it's on YouTube in HD🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

I'm feeling super nostalgic right now (and gayer than ever).

10. Maxxie Oliver aka Mitch Hewer from 2007's Skins. I think I just wanted to be him more than I had a crush on him although he was gorgeous, ok maybe I did have a crush on him!

I still wish Maxxie and Tony had just said “sod it” grabbed a Tesco meal deal and dramatically ran away into the sunset together hand in hand, they had such chemistry.

11. Kevin Simm and Tony Lundon from Liberty X. I loved Liberty X (until the X album then it all went downhill a tiny bit for me) but I still love 2002's Thinking It Over album but 2003's Being Somebody album was on another level, I personally think it's so super slept on!

I used to flip-flop between crushing on Kevin and Tony like it was a full-time job. One day it was Kevin’s voice, the next it was Tony’s smoulder. Looking back now, I realise the answer was always: why not both? They were lush then and they’re still lush in 2025. Some things age like fine wine—and apparently so do boy band members.

12. Leonardo DiCaprio - In 1997's Titanic🥹

Jack Dawson could draw, he was charming, he danced in third-class like it was a rave and he made freezing in the Atlantic look oddly romantic. I wouldn't have cared that there was clearly room on that door, I would’ve floated in the icy water just to be near him.

13. Elgin Lumpkin aka Ginuine - @ The Radio Music Awards 1999. Those abs? Sculpted like they were carved by the R&B gods themselves. That outfit? Peak late-90s campy swagger, somewhere between futuristic fashion and “I just casually look this good.” And that jawline? So sharp it could’ve cut through the dial-up internet.

He had that smooth confidence, that effortless cool, and a voice that could melt hearts and CD players alike. I'm still not over Pony either, and the video omg.

13. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Austin St. John - Played Jason Lee Scott aka the red one!

1993-wild. Looking back, it was one of those early crushes that felt epic, heroic, and just a little bit sparkly and I was convinced that saving the world in red spandex was the peak of masculinity.

14. A1 - In their 1999 music video Be the First to Believe and I did believe, mainly in Ben Adams.😍

With those boyish good looks, cheeky smile, and perfect pop vocals, he had my 11 year old heart doing cartwheels from the very first note!

15. Jesse Metcalf - As the shirtless, smouldering gardener on Desperate Housewives in 2004 had me glued to the screen. Those pecs, those eyes and the whole forbidden-affair energy? My teenage crush levels were off the charts.

16. Jesse McCartney - In the 2004 Beautiful Soul video, omg he looked so young I feel weird having a huge crush on him back then now but he was actually older than me so it's fiiiiine phew!

I had to include him though because I was in love with him at the time and this song is still good. I blame him for my first ever frosted tip highlights though which wasn't a good look for me but we have to go through hard times to build character.

17. Those Jean Paul Gaultier adverts, for some reason the 1997 Le Male advert gave me (and still does) all the feels and I was very on board.

Fun fact: The conic sailor imagery that we all know was actually inspired by Rainer Werner Fassbinder’s 1982 film Querelle. JP described the main character as a “hypersexualised gay symbol” so yes, that ad campaign came with a side of cinematic and cultural history. Who knew a fragrance could be so deep?

18. In 2004, Aaron Samuels aka Jonathan Bennett was the ultimate high school heartthrob in Mean Girls. I had a major crush, but here’s the plot wist: I actually preferred his hair not pushed back.

The messy look was peak dreamy IMPO.

19. Peter Andre in the 90's....

....and in 1996 Mysterious Girl video of course🤤Those washboard abs, that waterfall scene, the slow-motion hair flick? Iconic and he's still a DILF now let's be honest.

20. Jonathan Rhys Meyers as King Henry VIII in 2007's The Tudors had me questioning everything I thought I knew about history. Was it historically accurate? Probably not. Did I care? Absolutely not.

Just wowowowowwowowow.

21. Underwear Model of the Century aka David Beckham in the 90's and noughties-still gorgeous now though 100%. Perks of growing up in Man U supporting household was that I got to admire this man on telly a lot.

Victoria Beckham snapping him up obviously helped too as I was a huge Spice Girls fan too so yeah, thanks Vicky!

22. In 1999, Darren Hayes from Savage Garden didn’t just sing “I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality” - he practically read my heart like it was the CD insert.

I was crushing on him so hard that even my Walkman got emotional whiplash. At 10 years old though, I didn’t have the words for what I was feeling but when when I heard Darren sing that particular line something stirred inside me. I didn’t fully understand it but I knew that line meant something true, something that felt like it had been quietly living inside me all along. I do remember in that moment, Affirmation becoming more than music—it was the first time I heard someone say it was okay to just be me, even before I knew who that was. I still get goosebumps when I hear it now!

23. In 2006, Swedish footballer Freddie Ljungberg became the face (and very sculpted body) of Calvin Klein’s underwear campaign and it honestly felt like he was on every billboard and magazine cover I laid my eyes on but I didn't mind!

24. In 2002, Alex Sibley strutted into the Big Brother house and to date he's easily the most gorgeous housemate the show ever had right?! With his model looks, Essex charm, and that unforgettable “That’s the way I like it” moment, he became the nation’s crush and my personal summer obsession.

25. Johnny Bravo - On Cartoon Network from 1997, I almost didn't include this one because he's a cartoon but after some intense research I know a lot of you fancy 1992's Aladdin (I do too actually ha) so I thought you know what, include him!

Johnny Bravo is the original himbo though and who doesn't love a 6ft 3 gorgeously built himbo with zero self-awareness?! If you say you don't then I don't believe you.

26. Harvey Kinkle - aka Nate Richert from Sabrina the Teenage Witch, 1996-2003! Every night after school, I sprinted home like it was a matter of national importance to catch Sabrina (well, Harvey) on Nickelodeon. I pretended I was watching for the magic and Salem (I did love Salem though) but I'll be real, Harvey’s floppy hair and awkward charm had me in a tweenage trance.

Let us know your thoughts below!