Neil Borrett explains why Pride Matters to him. “I was born and raised in Brighton. I went to a local comprehensive during the 80s. As a shy, quiet, overweight lad with no interest in sports but with a great love of pop music, I was picked on and told I was gay. At the time, […]
“I was born and raised in Brighton. I went to a local comprehensive during the 80s. As a shy, quiet, overweight lad with no interest in sports but with a great love of pop music, I was picked on and told I was gay. At the time, I didn’t really care what others thought. As long as I had my music and a few close friends to go out with, I wasn’t that bothered. I did have a few experiences at school which excited me, but I was in denial.
After leaving school, I went between jobs not knowing what to do, and started dating women. I fell in love, and after an 18 year on-and-off relationship, we married. During the 90s, we had often gone out with her gay friends, and went to Pride every year. I never had feelings towards men then; during our visits to Pride, I would get excited and think, “I wonder what it would be like? Am I bisexual?” Pride made me realise that being gay is normal, and that I was just kidding myself that I was straight. Could I ever love a man?
“Our marriage wasn’t going too well. I was mostly to blame, and we became increasingly distant. I started seeing a guy regularly, and then BANG! I started having feelings towards him. It was May, and Pride 2008 was coming up. I had to do something – I couldn’t lie any more to my wife, family and friends.
“One Saturday afternoon, my wife and I were having one of our good days. After a few drinks, I blurted out, “I’m gay!” Pride arrived and I went on my own, not having any other close gay friends. I watched the parade and went to the park. I felt at home and normal at last. I started to chat with people and form friendships. I left the family home and moved into a room with a gay landlord. I later met the man of my dreams and am lucky enough to be with him today.
“Pride is important to me because it made me realise that you don’t have to pretend to the world about the way you feel, and that being gay is normal. I just wish that I had had the courage to come out back in the 80s. It seemed like a different world then, but it wasn’t really.”
